How often have you been told you should be strong, independent, self-reliant, able to handle any situation? And then when you need help, you don’t ask your friends and family because you don’t want to be seen as weak, unable to cope. And besides, they are busy with their own lives.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, especially when it comes to caring for a loved one — or yourself. It’s about using good judgment and knowing your limits. I never liked to ask for help, but not because I wanted to be self-reliant; I just didn’t want anyone to see my incompetence!
But back to the point. At some time, most of us will be caring for a parent, a spouse, a neighbor — often 24/7. And when we realize we can’t do everything by ourselves, no matter how strong we are, how do we ask someone for help?
Here are a few suggestions.
• Start with someone you trust: a family member, friend, neighbor, doctor, pastor, or community worker.
• It is easier for someone to help if you have a specific request. “I need a ride to a doctor’s appointment” instead of “I need help.”
• If you haven’t already, explain why the help matters: “Having a ride will allow me to keep my medical appointment.”
• Offer choices: “Could you help today, or would tomorrow work better?”
• And if you hear a “no” don’t give up. It may mean the person is unavailable — not that the request is unreasonable.
People may seem busy with their own lives, but they often appreciate being asked. Reaching out can make friends and family feel useful and connected. It’s a chance for them to pay back for all the help they have received.
Besides asking friends and family, there are also many local, state, and national resources. Here are a few.
Local: A convenient place to find times and locations for many local support groups is in this paper’s classified ads.
State: ADRC (Aging and Disability Resource Connection). 855-673-2372 or locally 541-705-2372.
National: Alzheimer’s Association Helpline (1-800-272-3900); National Institute on Aging (www.nia.nih.gov); Family Caregiver Alliance (www.caregiver.org).
Caring for a family member shows your love and commitment, but it can be exhausting and enormously stressful. If you are caring for someone, it’s okay to ask for help — for your health and the health of your loved one.
If you or someone you know needs help with energy assistance this winter, the Low-Income Housing Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP) is available through both the Mid-Columbia Community Action Council (MCCAC) in Sherman, Wasco and Hood River counties, and the Washington Gorge Action Programs (WGAP) in Skamania and Klickitat counties.
To find out the eligibility guidelines and to schedule an appointment, call MCCAC at 541-298-5131, or the WAGAP Main Office at 509-493-2662, ext. 202, or toll-free at 800-755-1192.
•••
Brain Tease: See if you can break the code to decipher this comment George Gobel made to Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show in 1969. It’s simple if you know the secret — but isn’t that usually the way life works?
“Eje zpv fwfs hfu uif gffmjoh uibu uif xpsme xbt b uvyfep boe zpv xfsf b qbjs pg cspxo tipft?”
— George Gobel
This green-bottled sparkling mineral water, marketed as the elegant “champagne of table waters,” was Perrier. I received correct answers from Bruce Johnson, Judy Kiser, Tim Schaefer, Doug Nelson, Eva Summers, Shelley Hinatsu, and Debbie Medina, who is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.
And last week, while scratching my head and strumming my guitar to Dale Evans’ “Happy Trails,” I missed a whole lot of folks: Debbie Medina, Glenna Mahurin, Becky Podvent, Keith and Marlene Clymer, Mike Yarnell, Tina Castanares, Craig Terry, and Mike Nagle, who still has his memory-filled original first-grade Roy Rogers/Dale Evans lunchbox!
•••
When I was in grade school, my folks took my sister and me to the local amusement park to ride the roller coaster. But I also enjoyed the ride where you operated a small electric car, steering it into other cars. There was something exhilarating about banging your car into another car, especially if it was your sister’s!
For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of this popular ride, first introduced in the early 1920s by the Dodgem Company and continued its popularity through the 1960s? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-980-4645, or send it with a video of you reliving your childhood memories while enjoying this ride in Seaside.
Well, it’s been another week, looking for the silver lining in my old raggedy jacket. Until we meet again, don’t be surprised by the unexpected.
Commented