Did the chicken cross the road, or not?

Chickens may be a mystery, but I do know why the deer crossed the road: because a car was coming.

I even understand why the deer crossed the road right in front of the car, which hit it. I almost did that myself once. I had waded about four miles of creek in the dark and was walking the road home when then the sudden glow of headlights around the corner startled me into running. I couldn’t run to the near side because there was a fence, so I crossed the road in the glare of the lights and crashed down the bank. I remember being puzzled as to why I had done it. My best guess is that it’s hard to judge distance and speed in the dark, and if you are in tune with the quiet things a car is like a nightmare.

It was a very strange experience, to have almost been a roadkill.

I’ve hit a few deer—one did in the Subaru and the Jeep never really recovered—but I’ve learned to drive slower and am more observant. I haven’t killed anyone for years.

Not everyone is careful, of course, but at least now that serves some purpose: It’s legal to harvest road-killed deer in Oregon, and in the majority of cases a lot of good meat can be salvaged. I haven’t done it since the law changed, but in my experience the hardest part was getting the animal home. Now that it’s legal, that shouldn’t be too hard.

The second-hardest part is butchering, which I won’t get into.

Years ago there was a hot-spot on Browns Creek where an alfalfa farmer had put up a new deer fence. At the sudden appearance of a vehicle, the deer, eating next to the fence and have only one direction to run, did exactly what I did as a boy: they dashed across the road to the safety of the woods on the other side. It’s a real gamble, though. You have to decide on the instant, because if you hesitate you don’t get across quick enough. Mom makes it, maybe a couple siblings, but many of them wait too long and make the wrong decision.

My route home these days has one “corner of death” and several high-risk areas, in terms of roadkill.

A roadkill diet could be pretty varied, along the route: ground and grey squirrels are common, deer frequent and occasionally turkeys are available as well, but you would have to check the regulations if you are tempted.

If I find a deer or elk by the road, and choose to salvage it, I would have to file a Roadkill Salvage Permit online with the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife within 24 hours. According to ODFW, only deer and elk accidentally struck by a vehicle may be salvaged; the entire carcass of the animal—including gut piles—must be removed from the road and right of way; and the animal can be salvaged for human consumption only.

Intentionally hitting a deer or elk in order to salvage it remains unlawful.

There are other rules and notices, and a lot of disclaimers regarding the safety of eating salvaged meat.

Butchering an animal is a lot of work, however. Instead of waiting for a deer to cross the road, I will probably be better served stopping at the grocery on my way home and buying that chicken, whether it crossed the road or not.

Later on July 2 (11:55 a.m.), a The Dalles Police officer was dispatched to the 100 block of west 14th on reports of a dog in the middle of the road. The officer arrived at 11:59 a.m. The dog did cross the road, and “was last seen in the 1500 block of Liberty Street,” according to the log. No mention was made of any chickens, however.