When are you entering that stage of life called “old age”? It depends on who you ask.
According to a 2017 study by U.S. Trust, American millennials (1981-1996) defined old as starting at age 59; Gen Xers (1965-1980) said old age begins at 65, while baby boomers (1946-1964) said that you’re not old until you reach 73.
Many of us don’t want to think about when old age begins. Old age is always 10 years down the road, right? But at some point, we realize we are no longer the young men or women of our imaginations. My brother-in-law shared that after turning 70, he could no longer deny he was getting old — although it has taken me a few years longer.
Although we may not want to believe we are old, there are unwanted signs reminding us that old age has, at least, moved into the neighborhood. While sorting through boxes of old papers and pictures — a great activity during the dreary winter days — I found a poster describing some of those signs.
Here are my favorites describing when you know you are getting old. Maybe you can relate to some of them.
1) Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
2) You think gay means “happy, lively, and vivacious.” (Remember the Gay Blade clothing stores?)
3) You know all the answers, but no one asks you the questions.
4) Your mind makes agreements your body can’t keep.
5) You feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere.
6) Anything under a quarter isn’t worth bending over to pick up.
7) You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again.
8) A dripping faucet (or any running water!) causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
9) You finally get to the top of the ladder, but it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
And my observations discovered over the past 15 years:
1) When you fly, TSA no longer considers you a high security risk.
2) An elderly woman in Portland was reported hurt and she was 10 years younger than you are.
3) The first thing you read in the newspaper is the obituaries.
4) When someone asks for help moving furniture, they look right past you — which isn’t always a bad thing!
5) You wear a warm coat when it’s 55 degrees outside.
6) You turn to the classic rock station and it’s playing ‘80s music.
And finally:
7) You think twerking is a new fitness program.
Now that I’ve reached what most consider old age, I’ve found it’s no longer something to fear but to embrace — although, I admit, it’s often like hugging a porcupine. But if we’re fortunate, we’ll all get there.
As Groucho Marx said, “Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”
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Brain Tease: These may be too easy, but I hope at least one will be challenging.
These words have had their vowels (AEIOU) removed; can you replace them to find the names of the animals?
pnd, frrt, s ln, hdghg, chth, tdpl, ttr, plr br, lprd, grff
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This comic strip created during the turbulent ‘60s and ‘70s that followed the lives of Mike, Mark, Zonker, B.D., and Joanie Caucus from when they attended Walden College to now as aging baby boomers was Doonesbury by Gary Trudeau. I received correct answers from Doug Nelson, Donna Mollet, Dave Lutgens, Pat Evenson-Brady, and Bruce Johnson, this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.
Back in the days of the three major television networks, when social media was passing notes between friends, television news was respected and not just another form of entertainment. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what television newscaster ended his news program with the words “And that’s the way it is”?
Email your answer to www.mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788 or send it with a copy of the first episode of “The Twentieth Century.”
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Well, it’s been another week, trying to keep up with the … well, just trying to keep up. Until we meet again, life is serious, but every day take time to step back and have a good laugh!
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“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”
— Abe Lemons
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Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted.
Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) — Mondays and Wednesdays; Mt. Hood Townhall (541-308-5997) — Tuesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333).
For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services: Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068), and in Skamania County call Senior Services (509-427-3990).
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Answer: Panda, ferret, sea lion, hedgehog, cheetah, tadpole, otter, polar bear, leopard, giraffe.
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