In the kitchen, Becky Brun and Khylie Garver formed a friendship. Decades apart in age, the two generations slice, dice, stir, and share, making soup, stir fry, sushi and more. “Khylie is very adventurous when it comes to food and she loves to cook, which is something I love, too,” said Brun.
Brun and Garver, 12, met last fall through Gorge Youth Mentoring, a program pairing youth with volunteer mentors who offer guidance, support and camaraderie.
The program, offered by The Next Door Inc, a nonprofit organization serving the Columbia Gorge, is free and available to ages 6 to 21. Youth and mentors come from communities throughout Hood River, Wasco and Klickitat counties. Many participants are from single-parent and low-income homes, and benefit from a consistent, positive role model, says Kateel Muhs, program supervisor.
Mentors range from 21 to 80 years old, and applicants are thoroughly vetted through interviews, background checks, and trainings. Volunteers commit to meet at least two times each month, though many choose to meet or talk more often. “Our mentors are really caring adults. They listen, are nonjudgement and offer endless encouragement,” says Muhs. “It’s so important to have a person outside your own family that can offer another perspective and support.”
Within just a few months, Garver’s father noticed positive changes. “She was shy at first but now she loves it,” says Timothy Garver, a single parent to two girls. “The school recommended the program and it’s been helpful. Her grades are up and she enjoys spending time with Becky. It’s a great program.”
Gunnar Sacher could have written a check but he wanted more. Instead of money, he gave time and attention. “I often ask myself, can I do more than make a monetary donation?” says the software engineer who became a mentor to 12-year-old Tsadik Addy. “There is a tremendous need for connection as a community. Gorge Youth Mentoring provides a unique opportunity to build back community.”
Rather than expensive outings, matches are encouraged to do everyday things — walks, talks, bike rides and such. Many enjoy hobbies together, such as cooking, hiking, or painting.
Mentor Becky Brun, at right, and Khylie Garver, 12, play a game of chess.
Photo courtesy Jonathan Graca
“You have to be ready to spend time and invest in the relationship,” explains Gunnar. “It’s important to break out of routines and see new things and different views of life. I’ve learned to be honest and I’ve learned that building a relationship asks for patience and trust. It takes time and patience. And for me, spending time with him is a reminder that growing up is not easy.”
For some matches, the personalities click right away. Keith Whigham, 39, and Kaiydon Hatch, 16, share a zest for adventure. Matched eight years ago, they thrive on high-energy activities and enjoy climbing walls, windsurfing and hiking. “Being a role model to a child that is developing can be rather intense,” said Keith. “It’s been a pleasure to be a part of that growing process, for both of us. It’s an exceptional program and it creates a lot of joy.”
Mentor relationships are needed now more than ever, notes David Shapiro, head of Mentor, a national organization advocating for youth. Even for the most stable and healthy child, the pandemic has contributed to social isolation and feelings of hopelessness. “The truth is, the responsibility of supporting young people’s well-being falls on all of us, regardless of what we do or where we live,” he says. “The mental health crisis, at its core, is a crisis of connection. Tutors and mentors are critical to boosting the academic, social and emotional skills that are central to students’ success.”
GYM is experiencing its own pandemic challenges. The program has currently has 50 active matches, which is nearly half of pre-pandemic pairings. Always in need of volunteers, the program typically boasts a long list of youngsters waiting for mentors. The pandemic, however, has created a new dilemma: GYM now has more volunteers than youth. Remote learning, combined with strains on schools and staffing, may have weakened usually robust connections.
“We work with schools and community groups who refer students to us. We typically get referrals from schools and have a waitlist of 20 but right now we have just six kids on the list,” said Kateel. She encourages parents to contact GYM directly to enroll their children in the program.
Health concerns have also changed meet-ups. Outdoor activities are now popular with an emphasis on walks, hikes, swimming, paddleboarding, even playing board games in the park. Group activities have also moved outdoors with GYM pairs gathering to carve pumpkins, make wreathes, and enjoy other seasonal activities.
Some pairs have opted to replace or supplement visits with phone calls, video calls, and even “snail mail,” says Kateel. “The pandemic has put a real strain on our program but our matches have really persevered.”
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