In our quest to nurture our children’s confidence and self-esteem, we often find ourselves in the heat of the moment, saying things that may inadvertently hurt them. But with conscious effort, we can instill a sense of hope and positivity in our children, fostering their self-esteem.
Some simple statements you can use to help build their confidence and self-esteem are: “You can do hard things” when they are struggling with a difficult task; “Let’s try it together” when they are attempting something new; “That was brave,” when they overcome a fear; and “No matter what happens, I love you,” to reassure them of your unconditional love.
As you become aware of using these statements, reflect on what you are saying to your children. By becoming aware, you’ll quickly realize what type of impact you are having on them. We are all busy with multiple activities during the day, and sometimes, we want to get things checked off the list when we think what we say doesn’t impact our children.
Your words significantly impact how your child perceives themself as they are trying to decipher everything they are exposed to. They are just learning about the world and have such a limited understanding of language that there is no understanding of sarcasm. Sarcasm is a form of mocking or derision, while encouragement is a form of support or praise. Therefore, a negative statement might result in causing a feeling of inadequacy.
Stepping back and evaluating the words you use may completely change their self-esteem. Many children haven’t developed the ability to differentiate between sarcasm and encouragement.
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Scott Smith has been in education for more than 40 years. Smith lives in Mosier and serves on the Board of Decoding Dyslexia of Oregon.
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