Kudos to Northern Wasco County Parks & Recreation District for joining the national initiative to promote strong family bonds with the annual Daughter Daddy Dance.
The intent of these events is to encourage the relationship between a daughter and either her father or a male mentor that will set the stage for her future choices in a husband or partner.
Psychologists contend that a girl creates a set of assumptions about what it means for her to be a woman by the time she is 4 or 5 years old. When that learning is affirming and builds self-confidence, that girl will grow up to be comfortable with herself and confident about her choices.
Girls with a solid sense of self in adulthood were reportedly often close to their father for at least awhile. They shared time in activities and dad was present for ball games or memorable moments in her life, as well as to lend a shoulder when life got her down.
Psychologist Bruce Ellis of the University of Canterbury in Christchurch, England, among others, says that a daughter who lacks a male mentor in her life will not have a template for a healthy relationship. She is more likely to get into love matches that are conflicted, disrespectful or demeaning.
These girls may inappropriately over-value the attention of men. For that reason, they may have poor boundaries and be more tolerant of abuse or victimization.
Ellis also maintains that teenage girls raised without fathers are more likely to suffer from depression, drop out of school and have other behavioral problems.
In her paper, “Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman who was Raised Without her Father,” Dr. Gabriella Kortsch reports that girls who live without a father do so not only due to death, abandonment, or divorce, but also due to physically present fathers who are emotionally absent.
Kortsch believes that “a little girl needs to see herself reflected in the love she sees for herself in her father’s eyes.”
The reflection of love and understanding in the early relationship with her father sets the stage for the girl to become assertive, proactive, productive, and creative in adulthood.
Kortsch says some of those skills are learned through play with the father, which tends to emphasize teamwork, challenge, competitiveness, testing of abilities, risk taking and independence.
A father’s involvement in a child’s life also appears to be linked to improved quantitative and verbal skills, better problem-solving ability, and higher academic achievement.
The bottom line is that a father sets the standard for what the girl will expect from men and a lifelong partner.
There was a time in the feminist 1960s that the role of fathers was downplayed, or reported to be “insignificant.” The lack of importance given to fathers was often portrayed in television shows and movies.
That outlook appeared to be a pendulum swing from centuries past where males were the primary authority figure in families and often ruled with an iron fist.
Despite their importance in the home, researchers have described the decline of fatherhood as one of the most basic, unexpected, and extraordinary trends of our time. In 1960, only 11 percent of children in the U.S. lived apart from their fathers. By 2010, that share had risen to 27 percent.
Statistics about what happens when a man abandons that role are sobering.
A boy who does not get enough attention, time, acceptance, encouragement, guidance, stability, security and love from a father is:
• Two to three times as likely to seriously consider suicide;
• More likely to have mental health issues, including anxiety, aggression, mood disorders and lack of impulse control;
•Ten times more likely to use drugs and 32 times more likely to run away from home.
• At more risk to end up in juvenile detention or prison.
The role of the father is generally affirmed today as hugely important to the emotional well-being of children. However, psychologists still say that many men express the feeling of being “second-class” citizens in their families.
Whether a man is divorced or not — roughly 50 percent of marriages break up — his presence in the lives of his children is critical and should be encouraged whenever possible by mothers who, by a rate of 90 percent, have primary custody.
The local Daughter Daddy Dance is a great way to remind fathers that they play a big part in raising healthy children who will become the next generation of community leaders.
Our parks district should be applauded for this effort.
Commented
Sorry, there are no recent results for popular commented articles.