Commentary: National Assisted Living Week: Darkness and light

He told me how guilty he feels, that he wonders if he is doing the right thing, that he worries she will think he is abandoning her, that he has been crying himself to sleep every night for the past week when she “got bad” and he calls neighbors who come over to help him transfer her throughout the day.

Then he told me how for the past two years, she’s been sleeping in the bed, and he’s been sleeping on the “daveno,” where he can see into the bedroom throughout the night and make sure she’s OK. Last night he decided he would lay down next to her on the bed and see how that would go. He explained that before long, she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her arm and then she turned and wrapped one leg around him, just like she had done throughout their entire marriage.

He said it “choked me up” and he began to cry.

And of course, I cried along with him, because I couldn’t stop my tears, as much as I tried.

Just when I think the world is a dark and hate-filled place, when our country is more divided than ever, when every time I turn on the TV I see the absolute worst in people, today there was a small crack in the darkness that burst wide open to reveal a bright light of pure, beautiful, shining love and devotion of a husband for his wife.

The work I do is heartbreaking and gut-wrenching, and this is by far the hardest job I have ever done. It is also the most rewarding. To be able to walk alongside someone through this frightening and emotional time, to give reassurance and support while they are at their most vulnerable, is an absolute privilege. Keeping that in mind, I washed my face and went back to work.

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Sharla Weber-Mosqueda is executive director at Parkhurst Place in Hood River. Sept. 10-16 is National Assisted Living Week.