When your spouse dies, your world changes: Days turn cloudy, flowers no longer bloom, and your favorite song is off-key. You may feel numb, fearful, and maybe even angry, but there is an acknowledgment of your grief and support: Sympathy cards, friendly words from friends, and a celebration of their life. And if the grief is overwhelming, there are support groups where you can share your emotions and learn how to manage your grief.
But what if you lose your best friend? Someone with whom you’ve shared lifelong adventures, memories, and reflections on the joys and challenges of getting older: That friend who you talked with for hours about anything and everything — and who would listen.
Are there sympathy cards? Do friends come forward to be there and just listen? Support groups where you share your loss with others who have also lost a best friend? Probably not. The loss of a best friend is personal and often not publicly recognized or understood. It’s invisible.
In his article “Life Without Your Best Friend — How to Grieve and Minimize the Feeling of Loss” on the Next Avenue website, Gary M. Stern talked with author Shasta Nelson, about how to deal with the loss of your best friend. She suggests three tips to help manage the loss:
• Contact other friends who attended the funeral and organize a get-together every year on the day of the best friend’s death to honor the loss.
• Share with other close friends what the loss of your best friend means to you; don’t keep your feelings locked inside.
• Jot down thoughts in a journal about memories of your friend, which can help you work through your feelings and grief.
The loss of a best friend is different than the loss of a spouse. But in both cases, there is no wrong way to process the grief: It takes time, and there will be ups and downs. And even though no one can replace a best friend, it can be an opportunity to treasure your friends and deepen those relationships.
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Brain Tease: This one should keep you scratching your head! Can you figure out the logic used to decide the order of the following words: Gun, shoe, spree, door, hive, kicks, heaven, gate, line, den.
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The name for pieces of bodywork that were attached to or part of the fender that covered the upper portions of the wheels of a vehicle were fender skirts. I received correct answers from Ron Nelson, Donna Mollett, Sam Bilyeu, Eva Summers, Dave Lutgens, Rose Schulz, Jess Birge, Bill Bullack, Rebecca Abrams, Dennis Morgan, Bruce Johnson, Keith Clymer, Richard Shaw — who in 1958 installed them on a 1950 Chevy — and this week’s winner, Doug Nelson, who I have to give credit for suggesting the question I never would have known the answer for!
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This 1968 song sung by Jeannie C. Riley became a major international hit single and made her the first woman to top both the Billboard Hot 100 and the U.S. Hot Country Singles charts with the same song. For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of this song that tells the story of Mrs. Johnson barging into a PTA meeting unannounced, wearing a miniskirt, and revealing a long list of the members’ private indiscretions? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788, or send it with a photo of “The Storyteller” Tom T. Hall who wrote the song.
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Well, it’s been another week, adding a few curves on the straight and narrow. Until we meet again, it’s often hard to ignore what’s wrong, but take time to focus on what’s strong.
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“It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at 22, you’d always be as ignorant as you were at 22. Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.”
— Mitch Albom,
Tuesdays with Morrie
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Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted.
Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) — Wednesdays with music on second and fourth Wednesdays; Mt. Hood Townhall (541-308-5997) — Tuesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333).
For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services: Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068), and in Skamania County call Senior Services (509-427-3990).
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Answer: (To make it harder to read, I’ve reversed and flipped the answer so you just need to turn the paper upside down to read it.)
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