Why Lending a Hand Can Boost Happiness as You Age

As it turns out, though, the emotional effects differ for men and women.

While older women maintained a pretty steady positive mood when offering emotional support, researchers found that older men were more likely to feel worse on days they comforted friends.

"Offering emotional support to friends may be linked to a lower positive mood for older men, possibly due to expressing empathy or discussing emotions," Crystal Ng, a researcher at the university’s Survey Research Center, said in a news release. "It may conflict with masculine role expectations, leading to discomfort or emotional strain." 

The findings, published recently in the journal Research on Aging, shed light on how different types of social support can shape emotional well-being in later life.

Ng and her team studied 180 older adults in the Greater Austin area in Texas, with an average age of 74. Participants recorded their mood and social interactions every three hours for nearly a week.

Researchers found that emotional support — such as listening or offering comfort — was the most common form of help among friends, followed by giving advice or assisting with practical tasks.

While both men and women benefit from friendship, Ng said men’s friendships often center on shared activities, while women’s tend to focus more on emotional closeness and communication.

"Since friends are chosen and usually bring joy, they can be especially important for emotional well-being in older age, particularly for those who are unmarried, widowed, divorced, single or childless," she said.

What's more, acts of practical support may do more than help a friend, they can also help older adults feel useful and engaged, researchers said.

Helping others with errands or tasks often involves effort, which can reinforce older adults’ sense of purpose. And for men in particular, these active, hands-on ways to help may be especially valuable over time.

"However, programs should explore alternative avenues for social engagement beyond emotional support," Ng said. "Or facilitate meaning-making in emotional support exchanges to better promote older men's emotional well-being, as emotional help — at least to close friends — may incur daily emotional costs." 

Researchers said future studies will explore what drives older adults to provide caregiving to friends.

The National Institute on Aging supported the study.

More information

The American Psychological Association has more on why friendships keep us healthy.

SOURCE: University of Michigan, news release, Oct. 15, 2025

What This Means For You

If you’re an older adult, research shows offering a helping hand can boost your well-being.