The City Council, Episode 153: Stanley Humphley’s Skunk

Serial Narrative of Rural Life in the American West

If each of our lives were a novel, a motif could be detected, a theme of common threads that weave in warp and weft, creating our character, its settings, and the plot — the fabric of our wavery living. For Stanley Humphley his motif is “victimization by pestering.” He is befuddled in a maze of misdirection too. For Stanley, trusting people is like walking in flip-flops into a patch of cheatgrass. What part courage, what part commonsense? Omens are everywhere.

Life has its joys for Stanley, to be sure. However, too often he looks sideways at a situation, and comes out of it turned askew. Frequently he feels the universe tinkers with his fate, toys with his objectives, and overall makes him feel like a puppet on a string.

Such was the case last week when he noticed a skunk skulking about his front yard at dusk. It was November, and it was cold. Now, if you had asked the skunk she would have said she was momentarily lounging, enjoying the calming, undulating, blue light emanating from the man’s television. Humphley though saw in the actions of the other something sinister, something conspiratorial. Regardless, he didn’t want this stinker near his place, so readied his .22 pistol to end the obnoxious intrusion that next night. He would set out a can of can food as bait.

Well, the sun set the next day, and with that passage came a light cold rain, which soon turned to sleet, and then freezing rain. Here is literary foreshadowing for you. Poor Stanley. What will become of you? This weather did not bode well for our hero, as you have already anticipated.

Stanley passed the back patio and noticed a movement. Ah ha! The black and white stripes! Sneaking from the side door, gun in hand, Stanley stalks around the side to the patio, hunched, lurking, where he promptly loses his footing. In midair, wildly gesticulating, he discharges the gun, the bullet rocketing through the kitchen window, lodging in a cabinet door. At all this hubbub the skunk, startled, sprays, catching Stanley full force, who hits the cement hard. He passes out, sustaining a broken hip and a concussion in the mishap.

This poor luck heightens his sense of persecution. Household accidents will do that.

Stanley would occasionally feel put upon from members of his extended family, most perplexingly by his loving granddaughter Heather, rhythm guitarist of the Night Ravens. She would ask him small favors, and he would comply, but he would be curiously piqued. It was Stanley who funded the Converse All Stars for the band’s first gig. He bought her guitars. He saw the world finitely, and giving for him was a form of exhaustion, worrying he might end up with nothing. This pursued him; he stumbled among relationships, and that kept him from unchecked happiness.

He was a staunch supporter of direct democracy, hence his regular attendance of the Warhaven City Council meetings. His critics scoffed, saying he came just for the coffee and occasional donuts. He sensed their skepticism and felt persecuted.

There were some disingenuous neighbors who egged him on in public, to get him riled, provoked, pestered. This led him to one of the “Humphley chasms of life,” a philosophical fork in the road, whether to be perturbed by the caddy childishness or the issue at hand. He would purse his lips, flummoxed by the tangled paths presented in human behavior. Life was a labyrinth indeed.

We all have our private selves and our social selves. Stanley was no exception, who looked brighter, more astute in solitude than he did walking about Downtown, skeptical that shenanigans were about. His slight hearing loss created a tic in Stanley, a quick reaction to another’s spoken words with, “Huh?” It sounded like he was out of breath; it looked like maybe he was being visited by apparitions, one of the local gnomes or elves we know to frequent the Rushing River Valley. Regardless, he was on guard, wanting to appear aware, vigilant.

Stanley meandered through his golden years trodding behind his companion, misapprehension. He knew blind alleys and Robin Hood’s Barn and an unnecessary trip or two around the block. He had been divorced from his wife of twenty-three years for thirty. The former Mrs. Humphly had left him because he never seemed to get anything right. This, of course, was regrettable, partly because it was untrue. He always remembered her birthday and VE Day, because they were one day apart on the calendar. Hapless as he is, he is steadfastly reliable to friends and loved ones.

Police reports The Dalles PoliceJan. 8-21Agency assists:Jan. 18 — E. Second, 900 block — Vehicle fire reported. The vehicle was located and all four wheels were on fire. The vehicle pulled into a parking lot and the fire department arrived on the scene to put out the fire.Jan. 20 — I-84 at exit 83 — Semi truck leaking fuel reported. The leak was stopped by Mid-Columbia Fire and Rescue; Oregon State Police arrived on scene and took over the incident.Jan. 20 — The Dalles — Hood River County Sheriff’s office reported multiple car prowls at Mark O. Hatfield park that afternoon. Credit cards were taken from vehicles and used in The Dalles.Jan. 21 — Trevitt Street — Officers assisted with a medical call. A male was transported to the hospital.Animal calls:Jan. 18 — W. Second — Snake in a vehicle reported.Jan. 20 — E. Ninth, 1100 block — Harassment of a service animal reported.Jan. 21 — W. Eighth and Myrtle — Three dogs reported to be in front of a house, one with a puppy in its mouth that it was shaking. A subject was able to contact the puppy’s owner.Assaults, harassment, menacing and domestic violence:Jan. 15 — The Dalles — Online harassment reported.Jan. 15 — Home Street — Domestic dispute reported. Jan. 15 — The Dalles — Ongoing harassment reported.Jan. 16 — E. 12th — Domestic dispute reported. A case number was taken for assault. The parties were separated.Jan. 16 — W. Seventh — Domestic dispute reported.Jan. 17 — W. Seventh — Four calls were received regarding a male beating a female. The male was lodged at NORCOR on two counts of strangulation, harassment, interfering with making a 911 report and burglary II.Jan. 17 — W. Seventh — Domestic dispute reported.Jan. 18 — W. Emerson — Disturbance reported between two males. Both admitted to throwing a single punch. Jan. 19 — W. Seventh — Male cited for harassment and Center for Living was notified.Jan. 19 — E. Ninth — Domestic dispute reported.Jan. 19 — E. Ninth — Domestic dispute reported.Jan. 20 — W. 10th — Harassment reported.Jan. 21 — E. 12th Street — Harassment reported.Jan. 21 — E. 12th — Harassment reported.Jan. 21 — E. 12th — Harassment reported. Jan. 21 — W. Home Court — Male arrested and lodged at NORCOR for assault IV, harassment, theft I, theft II, criminal mischief III, burglary I and driving under the influence of intoxicants.Controlled substance violations (non-DUII): Jan. 21 — E. 10th, 1600 block — Found baggie with tin foil inside that contained a black residue reported (possible drug activity). An officer disposed of the items.Disorderly conduct, mischief, criminal trespass and vandalism:Jan. 15 — W. Third — Male warned regarding urine bottles around a tent.Jan. 15 — W. Second, 600 block — Trespass reported.Jan. 15 — Bret Clodfelter Way, 3200 block — Trespass reported. Someone was camping on private property. Jan. 15 — E. 10th, 1600 block — Two noise complaints reported. Jan. 16 — W. Eighth, 1200 block — Trespass reported. Jan. 16 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Trespass reported. A male returned to a property from which he had been previously trespassed. Jan. 17 — W. Sixth, 300 block — Trespass reported. Jan. 18 — W. Seventh — Trespass reported.Jan. 18 — W. Sixth, 2900 block — Male trespassed from a property.Jan. 18 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Male trespassed from a property.Jan. 18 — W. Seventh, 2000 block — Trespass reported. A male was told he had until Friday to move his motorhome.Jan. 18 — W. sixth, 2600 block — Male trespassed from a property.Jan. 18 — Mt. Hood Street, 500 block — Male issued a criminal citation for trespass and theft III.Jan. 19 — Bret Clodfelter Way, 3200 block — Male trespassed from a property after taking food and drink and not paying for it.Jan. 20 — W. First — Male trespassed from a property.Jan. 20 — Mill Creek Bridge — Male warned for disorderly conduct after attempting to jump in front of cars to get them to slow down.Jan. 21 — Minnesota Street, 1800 block — Criminal mischief reported. Someone painted an obscene message with a swastika over the top of it. Jan. 21 — Roberts Street, 1200 block — Male trespassed from a property.Jan. 21 — W. Third — Female trespassed from a property after attempting to hit another person.Jan. 21 — Mt. Hood Street, 500 block — Male arrested and lodged at NORCOR for criminal trespass I and four outstanding warrants after returning to a business from which he had been previously trespassed.Jan. 21 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Male arrested for disorderly conduct and criminal trespass II, and lodged at NORCOR.Driving under the influence of intoxicants: Jan. 17 — W. Sixth, 400 block — Female arrested and cited for driving under the influence of intoxicants after hitting a parked car with her vehicle. Jan. 19 — Mt. Hood Street, 400 block — Male arrested for driving under the influence of intoxicants and misdemeanor driving while suspended.Identity theft or bank/credit card fraud:Jan. 16 — W. Ninth, 300 block — Unauthorized use of a credit card reported. More than $4,000 was charged, but caught before the purchase went through. Jan. 21 — W. Seventh, 2100 block — Theft of a money order reported.Motor vehicle crashes, incidents, offenses and impounds:Jan. 15 — Brewery Grade — Male warned for failure to perform the duties of a driver after clipping a guardrail and not stopping.Jan. 15 — W. 10th and W. Cherry Heights Road — Two vehicle, non-injury traffic crash reported. Oregon State Police arrived to take the lead in the investigation.Jan. 15 — W. 14th, 200 block — Hit and run reported. The vehicle was towed.Jan. 15 — Jordan Street — Officer found a vehicle that was involved in a hit and run case. The vehicle was towed for being a hazard.Jan. 17 — E. 14th — Ongoing issue with a speeding vehicle reported.Jan. 18 — W. Sixth and Webber — Traffic crash reported. No injuries were reported; a tow truck was called.Jan. 19 — I-84 at milepost 86 — A driver reported their vehicle was sideswiped on the highway. The suspect pulled over, said he didn’t have a driver’s license and pulled back into traffic (hit and run).Jan. 19 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Hit and run reported. Jan. 19 — E. 12th and Quinton — Two car traffic crash reported. One driver failed to stop at a stop sign and struck another vehicle. The driver was transported to the hospital for an injury; both vehicles were towed. The driver was cited for failure to obey a traffic control device.Jan. 21 — W. Sixth, 1900 block — Male warned for reckless driving for passing vehicles in the bike lane.Outstanding warrants, parole, probation or terms violations:Jan. 8 — E. 18th, 1300 block — Subject cited and released on a warrant.Jan. 8 — Mt. Hood Street — Male cited and released for a warrant.Jan. 8 — E. Seventh, 400 block — Male cited and released for an Oregon Parole Board warrant.Jan. 9 — E. Second — Male lodged at NORCOR for three warrants and harassment.Jan. 10 — W. sixth, 1200 block — Female cited and released on a failure to appear warrant.Jan. 11 — Terminal Avenue, 200 block — Male issued an arrest citation.Jan. 11 — E. 10th — Domestic dispute reported. A male onsite was cited and released on a failure to appear warrant out of Wasco County in a separate case.Jan. 14 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Male arrested on a Wasco County Circuit Court warrant and lodged at NORCOR.Jan. 14 — The Dalles — Male served a restraining order.Jan. 18 — Cherry Heights and Sixth — Male cited on an arrest warrant.Jan. 19 — Court Street, 300 block — Male lodged at NORCOR on two felony warrants.Jan. 19 — The Dalles — Male cited and released on a misdemeanor warrant (failure to appear animal abuse II) out of Wasco County.Jan. 21 — Pomona Street, 1000 block — Male cited and released on a probation violation warrant.Sex offenses:Jan. 12 — The Dalles — Sex crime reported.Jan. 16 — The Dalles — Male lodged at NORCOR for sex abuse III, trespass II, harassment and burglary.Jan. 19 — The Dalles — Sex crime reported.Jan. 19 — The Dalles — Sex crime reported.Theft, burglary or robbery:Jan. 8 — E. Seventh Place, 500 block — Theft of services reported. Jan. 8 — W. 14th, 800 block — Car prowl reported. Jan. 8 — E. 13th — Car prowl reported. Jan. 10 — W. 11th, 400 block — Car prowl reported.Jan. 11 — E. 15th, 2000 block — Male arrested for burglary I, criminal trespass I and harassment and lodged at NORCOR.Jan. 11 — W. 10th, 2400 block — Report taken for unauthorized entry into a motor vehicle and theft I. Various tools worth approximately $1,000 were taken.Jan. 11 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Car prowl reported. A messenger bag and a package of cigarettes were stolen. A case number was taken for unlawful entry into a motor vehicle and theft III.Jan. 11 — W. Fifth Place, 1100 block — Theft reported. A subject was reported to be breaking into a car.Jan. 12 — Cherry Heights Road, 600 block — Stolen vehicle reported.Jan. 12 — The Dalles — Stolen puppy reported. A male was on his way to deliver a puppy in Gresham when he had a medical emergency. The owner of the dog was attempting to locate the puppy.Jan. 12 — W. Sixth, 300 block — Stolen medication reported.Jan. 13 — E. Second, 2900 block — Stolen vehicle reported. The vehicle was recovered in Hood River. Several items were missing and the battery cables had been cut.Jan. 13 — W. 10th, 2200 block — Theft III reported. A car was broken into and a taser, change, documents and fingernail polish were stolen. Jan. 13 — W. Pomona Street, 1000 block — Male cited for unlawful entry into a motor vehicle, theft III, felon in possession of a restricted weapon and two failure to appear warrants out of Wasco County (possession of methamphetamine, and two counts of supplying contraband). He was given two court dates and released.Jan. 14 — Oregon City — Stolen vehicle recovered in Clackamas County.Jan. 15 — W. sixth, 1400 block — Theft of tips from a tip jar reported.Jan. 15 — Vey Way, 900 block — Car prowl reported.Jan. 16 — Yakima County — A stolen vehicle out of The Dalles was located in Yakima County. Jan. 16 — W. Sixth, 3900 block — Stolen EBT card reported.Jan. 16 — E. 12th — Theft of medical marijuana reported.Jan. 18 — Barge Way Road, 1200 block — Theft of tools worth approximately $1,500 reported from a vehicle. On Jan. 19, it was reported that an unknown subject had returned the tools.Jan. 18 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Theft of a flag on the sidewalk reported. A male was located carrying the flag and entering a store. The male walked toward an officer and a bottle of wine fell out of his pocket, which was returned to the store. The flag was also recovered and returned and the male warned.Jan. 18 — W. Eighth Place — Theft of a firearm reported.Jan. 19 — W. Eighth Place, 1000 block — Stolen package reported.Jan. 19 — W. 14th, 100 block — Theft reported. Someone purchased phones with the reporting party’s identification; the subject is now receiving collection letters saying she owes more than $1,800. Jan. 19 — Boat Basin Road — Theft of a catalytic converter from a truck reported.Jan. 19 — W. 10th, 2200 block — Theft of an air compressor and trailer reported (theft I).Jan. 20 — Bret Clodfelter Way, 3200 block — Stolen vehicle and trailer reported. Additionally, three firearms were inside the vehicle, as well as other small items, memorabilia, tools and household goods.Jan. 20 — W. Ninth Place, 2100 block — Theft of a phone reported. Jan. 20 — E. 11th, 1100 block — Several items were missing from a residence after renters moved out.Jan. 20 — W. Second, 400 block — Male arrested and lodged at NORCOR for burglary I, theft III and criminal mischief III.Jan. 21 — E. 10th, 2300 block — Burglary reported. Officers responded to a garage being broken into through the window. Two vehicles were missing and two laptops stolen. Other:Jan. 8-21 — The Dalles — Officers responded to 122 welfare and/or mental health calls.Jan. 8 — Lone Pine In Lieu Site — Two missing juveniles reported.Jan. 9 — E. 11th, 800 block — Missing juvenile reported.Jan. 9 — The Dalles — Oregon Liquor Control Commission (OLCC) employee advised she was in town doing checks on various establishments.Jan. 10 — Garrison Street, 2100 block — Gunshots reported.Jan. 11 — W. Eighth, 2200 block — Two missing juvenile females returned home.Jan. 11 — The Dalles — Juvenile removed from the missing persons list.Jan. 12 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Male cited for drinking in public.Jan. 12 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Male cited for drinking in public.Jan. 13 — W. Sixth, 1200 block — Transient male cited for drinking in public. As he was being cited, he opened a second beer and began to drink. He was cited for two counts of drinking in public.Jan. 13 — E. Ninth, 500 block — Missing juvenile reported.Jan. 14 — W. Pomona Street, 900 block — Missing person reported.Jan. 17 — The Dalles — Suicide reported. Jan. 17 — The Dalles — Possible suicidal subject reported.Jan. 18 — E. 10th, 2300 block — Death reported.Jan. 19 — W. Sixth, 2600 block — Officers were informed of a weapons denial (felony parental interference). Wasco County SheriffJan. 8-21Agency assists:Jan. 8 — Mosier Creek Road, 2200 block — RV fire reported. No one was inside but the vehicle was close to a residence. The fire was underneath powerlines but they remained intact. Jan. 9 — Highway 197 at milepost 6 — One vehicle traffic crash reported. Oregon State Police handled the crash scene; deputies and Oregon Department of Transportation provided traffic control. The vehicle was towed.Jan. 9 — Pine Hollow Road — A report of a possible person in distress was taken. A car was in the road and headed in the wrong direction. A beer can was seen on the roof. The tow company reported occupants were causing a scene and not cooperating, but the vehicle was eventually towed. Jan. 16 — I-84 at exit 82 — Deputy assisted with a traffic stop. A driver was cited for traffic violations and released.Jan. 17 — Highway 197, 1400 block — Deputies assisted with a vehicle fire. Everyone was out of the vehicle.Animal calls:Jan. 10 — W. Highway 30 — A dog was reported to have been shot under the eye with a BB gun.Jan. 10 — Celilo Park — A male was transported to the hospital by medics; he had a dog in his vehicle. Medics requested a deputy come pick up the dog to lodge at the animal shelter. The dog was transported and lodged pending owner’s discharge from the hospital.Jan. 11 — W. Chenowith Creek Road, 5900 block — Welfare check on an animal requested.Jan. 12 — Mosier Waterfront — Dog bite reported to both another dog and a person.Jan. 13 — W. Highway 30 — Male reported receiving a flyer in his mailbox regarding someone shooting his dog if it got out of the yard and into the trash again. Deputies reached out to a neighbor who said they did not send the note, but the dog getting into the trash is a weekly occurrence. The male was warned that he could be cited for dog as public nuisance.Jan. 13 — Osborne Cutoff Road — Aggressive dog reported. The dog’s owners were counseled on better maintaining their dog.Jan. 14 — W. Highway 30 — Female reported receiving a flyer in her mailbox regarding someone shooting or poisoning her dog. A report was taken for the same suspicious letter being sent to two different residences.Jan. 17 — Sevenmile Hill Road — Pig at large returned home.Jan. 19 — Sunflower Street — Ongoing barking dog issue reported. Jan. 20 — Sunflower Street, 1100 block — Ongoing barking dog issue reported.Assaults, harassment, menacing and domestic violence:Jan. 10 — Pleasant Ridge Road — Disturbance reported. Jan. 14 — Sunnydale Drive — Harassment reported.Jan. 15 — Webber Street, 200 block — A female inmate threw a cup of feces on a nurse. She was arrested for two counts of aggravated harassment.Disorderly conduct, mischief, criminal trespass and vandalism:Jan. 8 — Eightmile Road and Emerson Loop Road — Ongoing problem with dumping reported. A wooden building material was dumped at the above location.Jan. 8 — W. Cherry Heights Road, 6100 block — Male issued a criminal trespassing citation.Jan. 8 — W. Irvine Street, 1000 block — Trespass reported.Jan. 9 — Taylor Lake — Criminal mischief reported to a vehicle.Jan. 9 — Rowena River Road, 6100 block — Mailboxes vandalized overnight.Jan. 10 — Pleasant Ridge Road — Report taken for criminal mischief and assault.Jan. 11 — W. Chenowith Creek Road, 5900 block — Trespass and possible harassment reported.Jan. 16 — Maupin — A band was reported to be setting up equipment within six feet of the train tracks. A deputy made contact with the three band members, who said they were filming a music video and didn’t know it was a working railroad until they saw a train coming down the tracks. They were in the process of packing up equipment and going back to Portland (trespass).Jan. 17 — N. Frontage Road, 0-100 block, Tygh Valley — Criminal mischief reported. A vehicle window had been broken.Jan. 19 — Smock Road, Tygh Valley — Unwanted subject reported.Jan. 19 — Discover Drive, 5000 block — Criminal mischief reported. A male was riding his bike on the Riverfront Trail and came back to find another male under his (the bike rider’s)vehicle, who then left. The first male had to take his vehicle in to be fixed. Jan. 21 — George Jackson Road, Maupin — Male threatened to assault another person.Jan. 21 — W. Irvine Street, 1000 block — Criminal mischief reported. A lock was broken off of a door and there were pry marks on the door frame. No items appeared to be missing.Driving under the influence of intoxicants: Jan. 10 — S. Mike Road, 200 block, Tygh Valley — Driving under the influence of intoxicants reported. The vehicle was impounded and the driver cited.Identity theft or bank/credit card fraud:Jan. 17 — W. Highway 30 — Possible identity theft reported.Jan. 20 — Ayers Road, 79000 block — A subject reported being scammed out of $1,500.Motor vehicle crashes, incidents, offenses and impounds:Jan. 9 — Highway 26 at milepost 70 — Warning given for expired registration.Jan. 11 — Highway 197, N. Davis Cutoff — Driver verbally warned for illegal display (no rear license plate).Jan. 13 — Pleasant Ridge and Pine Hollow — Tree down (hazardous debris); the road department was advised. There was damage to a fence.Jan. 13 — W. 13th, 3600 block — Hit and run reported.Jan. 15 — Moody Road, 5900 block — Male warned for failure to carry and present.Jan. 16 — Chenowith Creek Road and Sevenmile Hill Road — Non-injury traffic crash reported. A vehicle hit a guardrail.Jan. 16 — Bakeoven Road, 98000 block, Maupin — A vehicle was reported to have driven into a ditch. No injuries were reported. The vehicle was towed to Bend.Jan. 16 — Wamic Grade — A vehicle was observed traveling 45 mph in a 25 mph zone. The male driver was cited for driving while suspended V and warned for speed.Jan. 19 — Highway 26 at milepost 63 — Traffic crash reported. A vehicle went off the road. Oregon State Police arrived and found the vehicle unoccupied.Outstanding warrants, parole, probation or terms violations:Jan. 19 — Bret Clodfelter Way, 3300 block — Male cited and released on a Wasco County warrant.Jan. 21 — W. Irvine Street, 1000 block — Male cited and released for a failure to appear (parole violation) warrant. The male returned to a property after being advised not to return; the male was gone prior to the officer’s arrival. The male was later reported to be in another person’s vehicle; the male complied with the request to leave the vehicle. Search and rescue: Jan. 20 — 4890 Road — Search and rescue initiated. A male followed GPS and got lost, with his truck getting stuck in the snow. Hood River was also advised. The male was found and picked up by deputies.Theft, burglary or robbery:Jan. 8 — Columbia View Drive, 3900 block — Car prowl reported. Jan. 10 — Carroll Road, 1600 block, Mosier — Stolen vehicle reported.Jan. 13 — W. Fourth, 300 block — Burglary reported.Jan. 14 — E. 12th, 2900 block — Stolen vehicle reported.Jan. 14 — FA Morrow Road, 79000 block, Tygh Valley — Stolen firewood reported.Jan. 14 — State Road, 1500 block, Mosier — Mail theft reported.Jan. 14 — Highway 197, 56000 block — Stolen ladder reported.Jan. 15 — Hood River — A vehicle was stopped in Hood River that was later confirmed to have been stolen out of The Dalles. The vehicle was towed.Jan. 15 — W. Sunflower Street, 1100 block — Theft of a wallet from a vehicle reported. Jan. 15 — N. Airstrip Drive, 0-100 block, Tygh Valley — Car prowl reported. Jan. 18 — W. Highway 30 — Possible car prowl and trespass reported. Jan. 18 — S. Mary B Road, 200 block, Tygh Valley — Possible car prowl reported.Jan. 18 — N. Circle Drive, Tygh Valley — Possible car and/or home prowl reported.Jan. 19 — Ayers Drive, 3700 block — Mail theft reported for the second time in a month.Jan. 20 — W. Highway 30, 6000 block — Stolen vehicle reported. Other:Jan. 8-21 — Wasco County — Deputies responded to 11 welfare and/or mental health calls.Jan. 10 — W. Cherry Heights Road — Male laying in the middle of the road reported. Deputies located the male who stated he was walking home but his back started hurting and he needed a break, so he laid down. He felt drivers had plenty of room to go around. He was counseled on taking a break in a safer location.Jan. 15 — The Dalles — Possible suicidal subject reported.Jan. 18 — The Dalles — Male voluntarily taken by deputies to the hospital for mental health issues.Jan. 19 — Wasco county — Deputy transported a subject back to NORCOR.Hood River PoliceJan. 11-16Assaults, harassment, menacing and domestic violence:Jan. 16 — Avalon Way — Male arrested for assault IV and criminal mischief.Jan. 13 — Ninth Street — Male arrested for domestic assault IV.Disorderly conduct, mischief, criminal trespass and vandalism:Jan. 11 — Belmont Avenue, 2200 block — Hood River resident reported their window had been shot at. The window appeared to have been damaged by a BB projectile. Jan. 16 — Oak Street, 700 block — Mailbox reported to have been forced open. It was unknown if any items had been stolen.Driving under the influence of intoxicants: Jan. 15 — 12th Street, 1800 block — Vehicle stopped for a speeding violation. The driver displayed signs of impairment and after field sobriety tests, it was determined the male was driving impaired. He was cited and released.Jan. 15 — Hood River — Big Fork, Mont., resident arrested on the charge of driving under the influence of a controlled substance.Jan. 16 — Hood River — Non-resident male arrested for driving under the influence of intoxicants. BAC registered higher than the legal limit.Identity theft or bank/credit card fraud:Jan. 13 — Eugene Street, 1000 block — Theft reported. Someone, or a group of people, are writing fraudulent checks using another bank number. There have been $50,000 worth of fraudulent checks written at the time of the report.Jan. 13 — Second Street, 200 block — Fraud reported.Jan. 14 — Second Street, 200 block — Online theft reported. An employment benefit account was hacked and money unlawfully withdrawn.Motor vehicle crashes, incidents, offenses and impounds:Jan. 11 — Hood River — Washington female cited for criminally driving while suspended. Outstanding warrants, parole, probation or terms violations:Jan. 13 — Cascade Avenue, 2300 block — Milwaukee, Ore., resident cited for two failure to appear warrants.Theft, burglary or robbery:Jan. 11 — 12th Street, 1600 block — Washington resident cited and released for mail theft and a failure to appear warrant.Jan. 13 — Hood River — A vehicle was reported to have been parked in an unusual area. Investigation revealed the vehicle had been stolen out of The Dalles and not yet reported. The owner responded and the vehicle was inoperable and had to be towed.Jan. 14 — Prospect Avenue, 700 block — Stolen bicycle reported. The bike had been taken out of the back of a truck.Jan. 14 — Wasco Avenue, 2700 block — Theft reported. The suspect jumped a fence and fled from police, leaving the stolen merchandise behind. The suspect was not located.Jan. 15 — Sherman Avenue, 1800 block — Stolen vehicle reported.Jan. 15 — 12th Street, 1800 block — Officer responded to a careless driving call and learned the vehicle was stolen. The male juvenile was cited for unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and traffic violations, and released to his father. A juvenile probation officer was also notified. The vehicle was towed.Jan. 16 — 13th Street, 1400 block — Male arrested for attempted burglary (business), attempted escape III and obstruction.Other:Jan. 13 — June Street, 2400 block — Unresponsive male reported. The male was later pronounced deceased.Jan. 14 — Eighth Street, 1700 block — Death reported.Bingen-White Salmon PoliceJan. 11-17Agency assists:Jan. 13 — Bingen — Tree on a powerline reported.Jan. 15 — White Salmon — Officers assisted another agency with a domestic violence incident.Jan. 16 — White Salmon — Officers assisted another agency with a traffic stop.Disorderly conduct, mischief, criminal trespass and vandalism:Jan. 14 — Bingen — Subject contacted and trespassed from a property.Motor vehicle crashes, incidents, offenses and impounds:Jan. 17 — White Salmon — Hit and run without injury reported.Theft, burglary or robbery:Jan. 12 — White Salmon — Shoplifting reported. A female was cited for theft III.Other:Jan. 11 — Bingen — Weapons offense reported.Jan. 17 — White Salmon — Officers preformed a welfare check.