Storytellers 'break the rules' at the Gorge Speakeasy

Lucy Lauser

First up, Stevenson City Council member and Skamania Pride co-founder Lucy Lauser, with “Ok, I’ll Be Your Monster,” detailing her inspiring climb from “abomination to God” to an out-and-proud elected official. Last March, Lauser protested President Trump’s anti-trans executive order on the Stevenson Courthouse lawn and was subsequently arrested, and later harassed, threatened and sexualized by online trolls. Lauser resisted, protesting again months later. “Gender binary is a regime of social control that dictates two unequal sets of rules that you must follow based on the appearance of your body,” she said. “Those of us who are unable or unwilling to conform are subjected to dehumanization and violence, both as a punishment for defying the regime, and also as a threat to all of you.”

Tonia Farman

In her story, “The Harriet Heist: Kidnapping Grandma,” Tonia Farman illustrated her 99-year-old grandmother’s daring escape from a nursing home during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Concerned that her grandmother would die from isolation first, Farman’s Aunt Carrie covertly picked her up and snuck her out to the family’s mountain cabin, where she’d stay for months. They celebrated her 100th birthday outside, socially distanced in the rain. “She would wake up every morning…look outside, and every day there would be a herd of elk surrounding the cabin,” Farman said. “She had her family there, and she was so happy.”

Glenn Wood

Next up, Glenn Wood with “Ask Woody,” recounting a memorable late-night cycling training session that intersected with personal reflection and a quirky feat. While riding up a long hill, Wood was preoccupied with a difficult question received for his advice column: “Am I ready for sex?” Still, he powered through, reaching the summit of a large hill, where he picked up a brown paper bag in the road and impulsively launched it towards a distant trash can. Swoosh. As he celebrated, Wood was struck by the absence of witnesses. The moment segued back to the question, prompting an affecting response. “So often we’re pushed into things that aren’t necessarily our choice,” Wood said. “You have a choice…you could wait until you find that right person who loves you for who you are.”

Scout

Scout’s story, “Do You Believe in Reincarnation, or is it Reintarnation?” centers on her family’s history, innate abilities and her belief in reincarnation, inspired by her father’s remarkable intuition and wilderness skills. She recounted her family’s lineage, chock-full of unconventional choices and adventures, including her father’s pioneering journey across the Pacific Crest Trail. Scout connects these stories to the persistence of certain talents and traits across generations, pondering the origins of such gifts.

Mike Pendleton

Mike Pendleton’s “Only in Appalachia” hilariously recounts his experiences as a doctor in rural Kentucky, zooming in on one curious patient, the 84-year-old Butch Price. Known for being a curmudgeon, Price barges into the clinic one morning, complaining, “Willie’s trying to kill me,” which Pendleton determined was gonorrhea. Price had a surprisingly lively reaction to the diagnosis, later bragging about “having the clap” at a local diner. Pendleton’s comedic timing had The Ruins hooting and hollering, sharing tidbits that don’t belong in print news — an unforgettable seven minutes to be sure.

Ash Wylder

Ash Wylder’s “Kicking and Titles” shares how her move from Minnesota to Florida challenged her love of soccer. Her new school had no girls’ team. Determined to keep playing, she convinced her parents to let her play against boys. Using Title IX for support, she earned her place on the boys’ team. She later saw the formation of a varsity girls’ team and won an award titled “never die, never quit.” “A lot of rules are around only because we’re not challenging them enough, not because they’re right,” Wylder concluded.

Ryan Huntington

The Ruins’ own Ryan Huntington shared “Snap, Crackle, Poop,” recounting a teenage memory when he desperately wanted to impress his older sister’s cool college friends. Left alone to make Rice Krispies Treats while stoned, Huntington accidentally burned the marshmallows. Panicked, he tried to dump the mess in the toilet, only making things worse. Embarrassed and expecting ridicule, Huntington confessed, only to be surprised when the host seemed to brush it off — a small act of kindness that would change his perspective. “That was a new idea to me,” Huntington said. “You could be kind and graceful in a small way, and that’s the kind of person I wanted to be.”

Judy Bair

Judy Bair’s “Lost” details a high school conundrum, when she and her friends attempted to sneak into a coveted day camp they weren’t selected for. Initially exhilarated, they realize they’re lost in the woods. Panic grows back home, leading to a police call. The group elects to give up, waving their flashlights and screaming for help. Counselors eventually rescued them, resulting in suspensions. Ironically, they were mere minutes away from their destination. “If you’re going to be stupid, you better be tough,” Bair said.

John Bister

John Bister’s “Suspended Indefinitely” describes his senior year of college at Washington State University, during which he juggled rugby and math studies. Trouble begins when the university discovers a case of beer in the team van. The team, already on probation, must act, so Bister devises a plan and volunteers as the fall guy. He was suspended from the team’s next match, during which he took a job interview trip to New York. The team wins, he aces his interview, and in the end, “we got to have our cake and eat it too — and drink our beer,” Bister said.

Ezra Holmlund

A rousing finish to the evening, Ezra Holmlund’s “A Cacophony of Perversions” recounts a drug-infused spring break from his college years. Accompanied by his little brother and a massive crop of substances, Holmlund headed for Rock Creek, Montana, to fish for trout. A car interrupts their angling — three young men jonesing for a high. Sold. The pair continues enjoying their trip, uncurious about how their buyers interact with the goods, and returns home four days later. “As far as breaking the rules go, all I have to say is do it,” Holmlund said. “Break the ones that are right for you.”

The Gorge Speakeasy will return to The Ruins on Feb. 4, with the theme “Love and Loss.” For more information, visit angielake.com.