I spent a long time not knowing what I wanted to do when I grew up.
Alana Lackner
As a child, I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian, but I was horrible at biology and seeing animals in pain made me cry. In junior high I wanted to be a novelist, but I was worried about the stability and feasibility of it — I was a very anxious 12-year-old. In high school, I decided I wanted to be a pediatrician but, spoiler alert, I was still bad at biology and seeing children in pain made me cry.
It wasn’t until halfway through my senior year of high school that I figured out my love for writing could be used in another way and I pivoted to journalism. It was journalism for which I went to school, journalism in which I majored and graduated with a bachelor’s degree, journalism in which I got my first job here, at Columbia Gorge News.
The thing about journalism, I’ve learned in my nearly three years here, is that it’s so, so important. Our society needs it to function. Without journalism, the truth would be inaccessible to most of the general populace. The role it plays is absolutely vital to our democracy.
The other thing I learned about journalism is, despite its beauty and importance, it is really, really difficult. In some ways, even thankless. In a world where propaganda is everywhere, but it’s the truth that makes people cry “fake news,” journalism is exhausting. It is so worthwhile in many ways, but in others it takes a toll.
The people who work at Columbia Gorge News work so hard. They care so much. They check everything, they worry about getting everything just right, but mistakes still happen because at the end of the day, journalists are just people. They’re people with lives and families and anxieties and passions, but they do everything they can not to let that bleed into their work. Opinions and biases get left at the door because at the end of the day, they care deeply about journalism and they care deeply about this community.
The Columbia Gorge is a beautiful, vibrant community and, fortunately, it’s a community that cares a lot about journalism and the truth. That is such a gift. And, make no mistake, it’s one that the staff at Columbia Gorge News doesn’t take advantage of. Everyone at this newspaper works so incredibly hard to serve that community the best it can.
I feel so honored to have been a part of this paper, to have been a part of creating good, solid journalism. This staff is truly so talented and compassionate and every single one of them is an incredible journalist and an incredible person. In so many ways, it breaks my heart to say that I’m leaving. But I am.
In this journey of exploration that is my life, I’ve found that journalism isn’t the right fit for me either. As rewarding as it can be, it has also taken such a toll on me. There are days where I find it difficult to look at the world around me and see the beauty, when all I see is the suffering and the crime and the pain, all of the difficult things that I’ve had to report on.
The amazing thing about the staff at this paper is no matter how hard they work, no matter how badly they start to burn out, they keep going. They see the bad and it doesn’t stop them, they just keep going. But for me, there came a point when I realized I wasn’t cut out for this anymore.
I will never regret my time in journalism and I will absolutely never regret my time at Columbia Gorge News. But for now, I’m going to try something else.
I will continue to support the staff at this paper and root for them with all of my heart. They deserve so much love and I hope you, the public, are able to see how much they care about this community.
Thank you for having me as a reporter and trusting me to deliver your news. I hope you continue to do the same for the rest of the staff; they absolutely deserve it.
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