Ginnie Greene, writer of the Warhaven Printed Plowshare’s gossip column, the Greene View, was not the first to capture the hearts of readers with quirky reporting of life in Warhaven. Greene published her newsy five-hundred words weekly from 1956 to 1989.
An earlier gossip column was written by Albatross Jones, a Princeton educated fellow who came to Warhaven in 1912 to work for the Lyon Chapman Bat and Casket Company in their Sales and Finance Department. He was witty and observant and well-liked, enjoying practical jokes, including those played upon him!
One day in 1913 at lunch at Brown’s Lunch Counter, Al happened to be sitting next to Edwin Woodlin, who along with his wife, Rebecca, founded the local newspaper in 1876.
Al and Ed struck up a conversation which grew into a friendship that lasted the remainder of Woodlin’s life. A month or two after that lunch they were chatting over cigars, sitting on the bench by City Hall, looking out over the Rushing River. It was dusk, following a City Council meeting that was particularly raucous because the topic was taxes. The two men were chuckling at the ire and steam they had both just observed.
Ed sighed. “What this town needs is some levity.”
Al looked at him. “Well, you have the newspaper, the forum.”
“Yes,” Ed agreed.
Albatross Jones had written for the humor magazine the Princeton Tiger, and had edited it his senior year. The Tiger continues to this day, since 1882, with contributors including F. Scott Fitzgerald and more recently, John McPhee.
“How about a lighthearted gossip column, Ed?”
“Hmmm. OK, but who would write such a thing?”
“Hmmm,” said Al., “Maybe me.”
Ed laughed, slapping Al on the knee. “Sold!”
“Wa ... Wait! Are you serious?”
“Are YOU serious?”
“Yes, sir! I’ll give it a try. Shall we say, oh, five hundred words once a month?”
“We shall say that! On the condition that if the mob hungers for more, then you’ll comply.”
“Agreed!” They shook hands, and that was the beginning of Happenings About Town, which ran monthly from 1913 until 1943. Al came undone that year when his only son was killed in the Pacific in World War II. He resigned from everything, wilting before all to witness. He had had great heart, but that had been robbed by this blinding tragedy.
In March of 1919 he wrote, “The dignitaries working on the Treaty of Versailles are making great progress, and lasting world peace is at hand. While events appear more stable overseas, here at home the Wartime Prohibition Act and the Eighteenth Amendment have parched the thirsts of many a tippler and dipsomaniac, leading to lively debates at home. One or two, this writer has heard, have taken up an active interest in chemistry and the distiller’s art. The terms Pear William, Cherry Kirsch and Mountain Dew have been conspiratorially uttered by these desperate proponents of alchemy.”
In October of 1939 as Hitler was invading European countries and America remained neutral Albatross wrote, “There are those patriots that know the truth and those that seek it. Lest we isolationist Americans be confused for ostriches, our friends abroad, free governments, are under attack by the totalitarians! But enough of the world and cosmos. What is happening in our very midst? Over at the swimming pool fisticuffs nearly erupted when the Rotarians and the Volunteer Firemen could not agree to share the facility as they prepared to practice for the upcoming All Men’s Water Ballet. We take our synchronized swimming seriously here in Warhaven and New Hope County! If you think red raspberry jam is a contentious topic at county fair time, that is tame, innocuous chatter compared to the competitive, demeaning banter around our favorite water sport! Thank God sanity and diplomacy prevailed and both teams retired to Brown’s Lunch Counter for an afternoon ale.”
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