John Bohlmann joined Columbia Gorge News in October. He is a Hood River Valley High School graduate and recently returned to the Gorge.
Trisha Walker photo
After Oregon Sen. Jeff Merkley visited Hood River County’s Election Office in October, Hood River County Commissioner Arthur Babitz remarked, “I’m hoping that this is part of a larger drive to help people appreciate how the election system works. Well, it’s extremely boring.”
On election night, I had the honor of reporting Hood River County’s election results to the Associated Press as they came in. This was my first time acting as what is referred to as a “stringer.” Our editor offered the opportunity to be this election cycle’s Hood River County stringer to everyone at Columbia Gorge News. Having never done it before may be why I was the only one who volunteered.
It was indeed extremely boring. Even the Associated Press prepared me for boredom by imploring me to show up with a book to read and snacks to eat.
With polls closing at 8 p.m. I walked into the election office around 7:30 that night. There were a couple of young women seated at the table in the waiting area, voting at the last minute. When they were finished, they dropped their ballots into the box, each making a distinct clunk in the recently emptied ballot box.
The election workers had stayed vigilant to make sure they were filing ballots as soon as they were submitted. “Thank you for voting,” they said, immediately after hearing those “clunks.”
With the voters having completed their civic duty, the vote-takers saw that I got checked in and settled down to report the first round of tallied votes, which were anticipated to be released soon after 8 p.m. I set up my laptop, got my pad and pen ready, and reviewed the instructions sent to me by the Associated Press.
At 7:58 p.m., a man came into the lobby saying he never received his mail-in ballot. Keep in mind, the polls close at 8 p.m. He didn’t seem stressed out, agitated, or in any kind of hurry. Neither did the election official — she behaved as if this was not only normal, but expected.
As a testament to this literal last-minute voter’s nonchalance, when asked for his ID, he said he didn’t have it. “I don’t really carry ID anymore because everything is ApplePay,” he said.
“It’s really kinda messed up some stuff in my life,” he added with deadpan delivery.
Unfazed, the election official simply asked his name and date of birth, verified his home address, and handed over an election ballot. The man sat in the same spot the two women (who probably thought they were the last to vote in Hood River County) sat moments earlier. Sure enough, he was done by 8 p.m., and the last clunk for this election cycle resounded in the near-empty office. “Thank you for voting,” was said again for the last time until the next election.
Soon after, I was handed the first round of election results by the same staffer. Knowing I had witnessed the last voter’s submission, she smiled and said with genuine affection, “It’s funny how many people show up at the last minute saying they never got their mail-in ballot,” like a mother tickled by her child’s procrastination in sending his wish list to Santa every year.
With the polls closed, there was little else for me to do other than report the numbers to the Associated Press, wait an hour for the next numbers, then report those. Upon handing me the closing poll figures for the night around 9:30 p.m. , the staffer said, “You should’ve been here earlier.”
Apparently, there’s no shortage of people who vote in person on Election Day, even in an area that conveniently provides mail-in and early voting. As hectic as the day must have been for these county employees, they all were bright, kind, and jovial. Yeah, it was a boring experience, but nevertheless a pleasant one.
If there is any skepticism that Hood River County’s elections are anything other than professional, honest, and accurate, you can rest assured that they are good at what they do, that they do it right, and that they’re sincere when they say, “Thank you for voting.”
Even and especially to the guy who showed up at 7:58 p.m.
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