‘SNL’ Sends Clear Message as Miles Teller Channels ‘Property Brothers’ in White House Makeover

After introducing themselves as if it were the opening sequence of Property Brothers, the Scott siblings met with the POTUS (James Austin Johnson) and his wife, Melania Trump (Chloe Fineman), in the White House.

“So, which one of you is married to New Girl and which one of you is the gay?” Trump asked, to which Jonathan said, “I’m married to New Girl.” (Jonathan and Zooey Deschanel are engaged, and Drew and his wife, Linda Phan, have been married since 2018.)

Jonathan then offered background information on the Trumps, explaining, “Donald and Melania moved into this house nine years ago. They were evicted for four years but they moved back in.”

After Drew shared that Trump “has a strong eye for interior design,” the POTUS explained that he puts golden urns “everywhere, like a hundred in every room.”

Meanwhile, Drew told Melania that he loved her Halloween decorations featuring skeletons and bare trees. “Those are for Christmas,” she pointed out.

Other features of the White House makeover included Trump replacing a portrait of former President Franklin D. Roosevelt with a portrait of himself as a soldier from Halo.

“They also paved the Rose Garden and turned it into what looks like outdoor seating at an Olive Garden,” Jonathan said, to which Drew added, “But Donald and Melania still feel like something’s missing.”

As far as the budget, Trump said it was “between $350 million and infinity.” The POTUS also laughed when asked if he needed a permit, declaring, “I could build this ballroom with the bones of my enemies, and no one could stop me.”

Elsewhere in the sketch, Trump pointed to a mood board for inspiration for the White House ballroom. It included photos of the Star Wars character Jabba the Hutt and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Trump also wanted to add an MMA ring for both official matches and to bring back “bum fights,” featuring “two mentally ill guys just wailing on each other.”

The Scott brothers wanted to “preserve the historic nature of the building” — but they demolished the entire East Wing in two days after Trump sent them a GIF of the White House exploding. They did so by forcing “Park Rangers and astronauts” to carry out the demolition amid the government shutdown.

“Unfortunately, the demolition hit a bit of a snag while Donald realized he had deported all of the construction workers,” Jonathan recounted.

Trump then recalled, “I pulled up to the Home Depot parking lot and yelled, ‘Just give me the whites!’ I want the day laborers from Norway and Sweden, but, apparently, they don’t exist.”

“We want this to be our forever home,” Melania said to the camera after her husband shared he was gearing up for a third presidential term. The POTUS then declared, “Yes, because we’re not leaving. We’re gonna be doing something called ‘coup!’”

The sketch ended with the Scott brothers asking for payment for the White House makeover and Trump calling ICE on the siblings from Canada.

Saturday Night Live, Saturdays at 11:30 p.m. ET on NBC

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