Circles have aroused powerful feelings in mankind throughout time. They are the simplest of form whose imagery evokes continuous connection of past to present, present to future, across generations. Circles are found in all cultures often used to illustrate the meaning of infinity, their structure having neither beginning nor end. Like a well-worn wedding band, they are symbolic of lasting relationships, never perfect in shape, silken to the touch, beget by years of turning and stroking when worry, fear, or pain separates one from the joy of life.
With intent to form a circle of support, a dozen compassionate women descended on our home last Friday to share a Lion King evening with one another. We were an eclectic group of varying beliefs, ethnicities, cultures and ages, with the sole purpose of lifting the spirit of a special woman we all call friend. An individual who will remain nameless, for she could be one of a hundred, thousand or million women facing the same debilitating health issues that overwhelm individuals when the diagnosis spoken is cancer.
We began the evening with a Circle of Love, toasting our special friend with testimony to the qualities she embodies that inspired us, her kindness, courage, beauty and inner strength. The feeling of love surrounding us all was profound. Spirits soared, sweeping around the circle of women, embracing our friend in a whirlwind of support. “Can you feel the love tonight, you needn’t look too far, stealing through the nights’ uncertainties, love is where you are.”
We are an eclectic group of women, bringing gifts of food and flowers, laughter and tears. We are strong, having walked down a similar path ourselves or alongside a friend or loved one. We gathered to embrace yet another, stricken in the prime of her life with an aggressive form of cancer.
She is not Lila May, the blissful child who touched all our hearts and changed our lives. But this woman is no less deserving. She is “la espoza” of one, mother of two, sister of six, “la tia” of many, and la abuela to yet another generation. She is “la amiga” of the masses, representing the spirit of millions of others who must struggle with disease, making life and death choices each day.
This was a celebration of life, a roller coaster of ups and downs, joy and sorrow, success and failure. “And it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love. Till we find our place, on a path unwinding, in the circle, the circle of life.”
We shared baby soft blankets that caressed her cheek with butterfly kisses, warm wool socks to ward off the encroaching chill of fall, an angelic teddy bear to cuddle when sleep escapes her at that darkest hour before dawn, a book of inspirational sayings to buoy her spirits. There was a bright floral skirt with the promise of tomorrow’s dance, a bouquet of flowers as brilliant as the rainbow, their scent gentle enough to enjoy, bypassing the ravages that chemotherapy inflicts on ones sense of smell. A saint amongst us shared a prayer in Spanish and another Pays It Forward with a beautiful figurine filled with Holy Water. She encircles our friend’s wrist with yet another protective saint to constantly remind her that she is never alone.
A sister with gentle hands provides a foot massage to ward off the weariness that comes from walking down cancer’s razor sharp path. We join in the luxury of her massage using the “assembly line” shoulder rub practiced on the cherry sorting line, massaging the shoulders of the person to your left then shifting to massage the person on your right.
Laughter has always been my savior in difficult times. I pull out Dr. Foo, a puppet I used with parenting groups years ago. He carries the same phonetic name as our guest’s cancer specialist at Celilo in The Dalles. Foo the puppet can be manipulated to say whatever you would like through the magic of ventriloquism and puppetry. Dr. Fu the cancer specialist’s demeanor is restrained and solemn, puppet Foo rides peals of laughter around our circle, positive reports flying from his flapping mouth manipulated by a friendly hand inserted into his zippered back. “Nothing but good news says Dr. Foo the puppet; shrinking tumors, chemo complete and a thick healthy head of hair.”
As the evening wears on, the circle begins to dissolve. One by one the women leave into the warm summer night, exhausted but uplifted. The circle will come together again to hold another in this loving embrace. The faces, hearts, and hands may differ, inside and outside the circle.
I fill the tub with steaming water and my guest slips into the gentle waves of the Jacuzzi. She relaxes and the anxiety and pain of the last week gradually slip away with the wash water. She sleeps soundly through the warm summer night, wrapped in silken blankets and the afterglow of the Circle of Love. It is a night to remember for us all.
Everyone deserves a Circle of Love, a Circle of Life. Anyone can gather friends and family together to embrace those in need. And if a person has no family or friends these are people who have the greatest need of a circle of support. Try opening your heart and your home for a Lion King evening.
The human touch can heal the heart, the spirit and the soul. And sometimes it can heal a disease that has taken far too many lives, far too soon.
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