There is an ongoing debate about when you reach old age. Is it 50 when you receive your first invitation to join AARP? Is it 65 when you are eligible for Medicare? Or are you not old until your children reach Medicare? And then there is the quote attributed to Bernard Baruch: “To me, old age is always 10 years older than I am.”
If you are someone who wants to remain forever young, I have good news for you.
According to the National Academy of Old Geezers, it is not how you look, so skip the wrinkle removing injections and hours pumping iron in the gym, or how you feel — no need for nine hours of sleep and taking all the right supplements.
Staying young depends on what you say! Yes, it’s the idioms, phrases, and words you use — such as “old geezer!”
So if you want to be seen as young, don’t let words like the following touch your lips. Ignore them. They are your “old” self. And if one of your friends utters any of these words, be kind and avoid giving them that disparaging side glance that says, “You are so old!”
Cat’s Pajamas, Far Out, Fiddlesticks, Gee Whiz, Hogwash, Hunky-Dory, Moxie, Necking, Poppycock, Swell, What’s Your Bag?, Don’t Have a Cow, Hang Loose, Burn Rubber, Psyche, Groovy. (For 20 years, I have been waiting for groovy to reappear like tie-dyed T-shirts. But my wife tells me to give it up. It ain’t gonna happen!)
And here are some phrases to avoid like an Ozzy Osbourne concert:
• “I need to swing by the bank and make a deposit.”
• “Kids today.”
• “I’m just going to rest my eyes for a minute.”
• “Can I pay for this by check?”
• “It sounds like a lot of noise to me.”
• “I almost forgot to print my boarding pass!”
• “Back in my day” (the phrase I can’t help saying!)
Now that you have erased those words and phrases, replace them with words of the younger generations, and the makeover will be complete.
• “It slaps” — describes when something is desirable or good: “That ’641/2 Mustang slaps.”
• “Charge it” — accept it and move on: “My knees hurt all day. ”/“Oh well, charge it.”
• Aired — to be ignored. “I tried to get the salesperson’s attention, but he aired me.”
• Shook — shocked. “I can’t believe all the tattoos. I’m shook.”
• Fire — describes something really good: “This Herman Hermits’ song is fire.”
• Lit — a good review: “Gunsmoke is so lit!”
• Slay — describes succeeding or looking great: “Grey hair slays.”
Now, don’t be surprised when you are with friends, and you start hearing, “There is something different. You seem so much younger!”
But then maybe we should just be ourselves and embrace our age; trying to be young forever could be the true indicator of being “old.”
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The Sunshine Club is building a new location, and The Friends of the Sunshine Club are now in the final push to raise the last $140,000 of their goal of $700,000 by mid-August. The Sunshine Club serves people throughout the Gorge and provides a safe, engaging space for those living with dementia while providing respite for families who are caring for their loved ones. You can find more information at friendsofsunshineclub.org. Mail your donations to Friends of the Sunshine Club, 1140 Tucker Road, Hood River, OR 97031.
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Brain Tease: Inside each set of the following words, there is a pair of smaller words. By putting an “&” between them, you will make a familiar phrase.
1. Gulliver/Clearness, 2. Tragicomedy/Pentagon, 3. Thundershower/Intellectual, and 4. Thighbone/Swallowtail
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The name of the cunning and devious cartoon character who repeatedly tried to catch the Road Runner was Wile E. Coyote. I received correct answers from Doug Nelson, Bruce Johnson, Judy Kiser, Rhonda Spies, Shelly Hinatsu, Dave Lutgens, Pat Evenson-Brady, Donna Mollet, Rebecca Abrams, Kim Birge, and Joan Gilbert, who is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.
And last week I was holding Tina’s hand and missed Kathy Hannen-Smith, Craig Terry, and Jess Birge.
Remember the Howdy Doody Show with Buffalo Bob Smith, Clarabell, and the star, Howdy Doody, a freckle-faced boy marionette? Now, for this week’s “Remember When” question, do you remember the name of the live audience of children sitting on the onstage bleachers? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message on my cell phone at 541-980-4645, or send it with a video of yourself shouting “It’s Howdy Doody Time!”
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Well, it’s been another week, laying low in the shadows. Until we meet again, as the old saying goes, “Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.”
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Nutritious home-delivered and in-person meals are available at noon Monday through Friday unless otherwise noted.
Seniors of Mosier Valley (541-980-1157) — Wednesdays with music on second and fourth Wednesdays; Mt. Hood Town Hall (541-308-5997) — Tuesdays; Hood River Valley Adult Center (541-386-2060); Sherman County Senior and Community Center (541-565-3191); The Dalles Meals-on-Wheels (541-298-8333).
For meal sites in Washington, call Klickitat County Senior Services: Goldendale office (509-773-3757) or the White Salmon office (509-493-3068), and in Skamania County call Senior Services (509-427-3990).
Answers:
1. Live & Learn
2. Come & Go
3. Show & Tell
4. High & Low
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