What’s driving parent guilt this back-to-school season?

The majority of those who confessed feeling relief that their children are returning to school also indicated feeling guilty about it (57%).

Commissioned by Rula and conducted by Talker Research, the survey found that even with their complicated feelings, 40% admit they put their own mental health on hold for most of the week to focus on their family instead.

This manifests in their thoughts about whether they’re doing enough (41%), feeling guilty about losing their patience (33%) or worrying that they’re not giving their child enough attention (31%).

And while they show up for their kids by giving them four pep talks a week, on average, they don’t spend as much time reassuring themselves — 23% admit they do so less often than once a week.

A quarter of parents admit the hardest conversations they have during back-to-school season aren't with their kids — they're with themselves (24%).

The survey examined the internal narratives parents carry during one of the year's biggest family transitions, finding that parents are excited for their child’s adventures (47%), hopeful about the opportunities ahead (44%) and confident that their kids are ready for the next step (42%).

While the feelings are mostly positive, others admit they’re mixed with anxiety over whether their child will adjust well (28%), sadness that time together is ending (28%) and feeling overwhelmed by the logistics of planning (23%).

The top sources of stress during the school year include being able to show up for their child, managing work-life balance, financial pressures and making it through routines.

Facing moments of doubt leaves the average parent putting their concerns on the back burner 56% of the time, only seeking help 44% of the time.

In these moments, respondents tend to handle things on their own without asking for help (40%); others try to prioritize the day-to-day over the bigger picture (33%) and stay busy to avoid thinking about it (32%).

Just 30% of parents have found balance with holding themselves accountable and being patient with themselves.

On the other hand, more parents have the accountability down, but are not patient with themselves (45%).

With all of this weighing on their shoulders, one in five parents always feel alone when dealing with their mental battles about parenting (21%).

Just 14% seek advice from a mental health professional.

"While conversations about mental health have become more common, many parents still feel pressure to appear like they have everything under control," said Dr. Doug Newton, chief medical officer at Rula.  "That expectation can make it harder to acknowledge when they're struggling and even harder to ask for support. The reality is that caring for your own mental health is one of the most important ways parents can care for their families."

This back-to-school season, parents may find themselves relying on their support system of people like their partner (37%), friends (33%) and parents (32%).

A third of those who are seeing a therapist said that they’re part of this support system, too (32%).

Whether or not they’re already seeing one, respondents acknowledge that they can benefit from seeing a therapist during the back-to-school season to help manage stress.

According to those surveyed, speaking to a therapist would be beneficial when discussing how to navigate routines (26%), reassuring themselves that what they’re feeling is normal (23%) and expressing their general parenting anxieties (22%).

Parents who are not seeing a therapist most often said they preferred to handle challenges on their own (21%), had concerns about the cost of therapy (20%), or didn't feel therapy was necessary for them at the time (20%).

But those who are already in therapy are prepped with coping mechanisms that will help them this back-to-school season, like mindfulness exercises (32%), learning to let go of things outside of their control (31%) and setting realistic expectations for themselves and their child (30%).

"Parents deserve support, too," said Dr. Newton. "Whether it's managing stress, working through self-doubt or simply having someone to talk to, therapy can help parents feel less alone and better equipped to care for themselves and their families."

MOTIVATING ADVICE PARENTS SHARED FOR OTHER PARENTS

• “You are doing enough; trust yourself and cherish every moment."
• “Be patient, stay positive and remember that small moments of support make a big difference.”
• “Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace because parenting is a continuous learning process with no perfect manual.”
• “Don’t compare yourself to other parents. Be the best you can be. Learn and grow.”
• “Forget about having a perfect home right now. This time is for making memories. Take photos. Lots of them. You'll miss opportunities by being angry at messes. Laugh more. Bend rules, just a little. Play in the rain. Enjoy your child because time goes so fast. The house will be there to clean tomorrow. Be present.”
• “Keep learning from your mistakes.”
• “When life gets hard at times, try to relax and grab your train of thoughts. And be at peace with your decisions.”

Research methodology:

Talker Research surveyed 2,000 parents of school-aged children who have access to the internet; the survey was commissioned by Rula and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between July 10 and July 14, 2026. A link to the questionnaire can be found here.

To view the complete methodology as part of AAPOR’s Transparency Initiative, please visit the Talker Research Process and Methodology page.