The Porch: April 6

WELL DONE: Queen Elizabeth (Katelyn McAllister) and the rest of the Bard’s bunch will host “Knight’s Quest,” an event planned April 20 as part of Shakespeare Week at Hood River Library starting at 6 p.m. Hood River Valley High School drama department students in full Elizabethan garb will welcome people of all ages to the brainchild of theater teacher (and 2012 HRVHS grad) Sullivan Mackintosh. The quest, in this mini-Renaissance Faire/Elizabethan Scavenger hunt, is to be knighted by the queen, who rewards your knighthood with five pieces of gold you can spend in the market/tavern.

FREE: A stack of four snow tires. Bald tires, but free tires ...

BUMPER STICKER of the Week: “Pit Bull Mom.” Not sure if it describes the car owner or her dogs ...

SIGN of the Week: On an employee locker at pFriem Family Brewing, a drawing of beer bottles sticking out of ice, and the words “My Bucket List.”

OLD SCHOOL, old building: Second-floor tenants in the Scott Building use bead-magnets and a suite-number chart to check themselves in and out, just as floor-mates used to communicate with each other.

STICKIEST NOTE: “Meter working? Across the street at ReMax” read a title company post-it, attached on the outside of a vehicle, parked blocks away at Children’s Park.

SOCIETY Hotel in Bingen is going about its hiring fair in all the right ways: They are calling it a Recruitment Party and hiring DJ Le’Mix to spin tunes, offering appetizers and non-alcoholic beverages from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Bring cover letter and resume. The revival of the old Bingen School, 405 E. Franklin, requires baristas, bartenders, front desk agents, housekeeping staff, maintenance crews and spa attendants, as it prepares for its May opening.

SEEN AND HEARD: “You eat like a bird,” server tells fellow employee who has asked for a to-go box while dining with family ... “THAT Garage Sale” sign ... For more than a month now, a plastic “Garage Sale” sign fading on its crudely-stapled perch, a city signpost at 12th and May streets ... daffodils, crocus and hedge clippers ... strips of dirt-and-cinder-encrusted snow and ice persisting into early April on fully-shaded north-facing areas ...

— Kirby Neumann-Rea

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Seen something unusual or humorous? Tell us about it for The Porch: kneumannrea@hoodrivernews.com.