Sometimes we think we know what’s best for a person, but the role of an advocate is to ask survivors, what do they need?
Sometimes it’s not what we think it is — especially at Helping Hands Against Violence.
Evelyn was a homeless victim of sexual assault. Helping Hands advocates worked with her for quite some time while she was still living on the street. Our advocates helped her with a stalking order and provided an ear — and a heart — when she needed it.
Evelyn was a homeless victim of sexual assault. Helping Hands advocates worked with her for quite some time while she was still living on the street. Our advocates helped her with a stalking order and provided an ear — and a heart — when she needed it.
After working with her as a drop-in client, a room for her opened up at the Helping Hands shelter. So, we were able to offer her a safe place to stay too.
At first, the shelter was great. She was comfortable and out of the elements.
At first, the shelter was great. She was comfortable and out of the elements.
But after a few weeks, we noticed that she was agitated and just not feeling at home. We realized (with her help) that her comfort zone was not a shelter and that she, in fact, was more comfortable on the streets.
Evelyn had created a routine on the streets. She had her circle of friends. When her abuser was finally arrested, she made the hard choice to leave the shelter with the commitment to working with our advocates as an “out-of-shelter” survivor.
She continued to drop in our office, sat on our couch and talked. We listened. At times, we would prepare her a warm meal, but we balanced her comfort zone of being on the streets with our expertise in meeting her needs. She wanted help finding connections to apartments — if she was going to have a place, it needed to be a place of her own.
After several months, we were lucky to get the call that she was able to move into a forever home.
In life, we have our ideas about what is best for one person, but in all honesty, the role of an advocate is to ask survivors what do they need? With that mindset and a bit of good luck, we walked Evelyn’s non-linear path with her, which did eventually lead her to her new forever home. And to us, that is a success.
If this story made you want to volunteer, consider becoming a crisis line volunteer. The annual crisis line training will be on Wednesday evenings in October.
Contact our office for more details at 541-386-4808 or volunteer@helpinghandsoregon.org.
Stephanie Irving is director of Helping Hands Against Violence in Hood River.
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