Loneliness has been described as “when one door is closed, but the ‘other one’ has yet to open,” or “an ‘inner worm’ that gnaws at the heart” — and it can appear at any time. As we get older, because of circumstances we encounter — the loss of a life partner or difficulties hearing, seeing, or walking — it is easier to withdraw and become less involved in social activities and organizations, and consequently, alone.
But as social beings, we are meant to be with others. And although it may feel more comfortable just talking to ourselves (at least that person understands us), research has found that social engagement is better for both our physical and mental health. (Maybe because someone is there to kick us out of our funk and encourage us to get involved and keep moving.)
But if you are one of many who don’t find socializing easy or natural, and who reacts to a large group of strangers (meaning two or more) the same way you do to a dentist’s drill, you might find these suggestions helpful.
First, social encounters can be tricky, but don’t interpret them as rejection or hostility — and then blame yourself. Focus on the positive and not on what you may have thought went wrong.
Second, it may be easier to meet new friends while attending a class, a lecture, or book club: a place where you can talk about a topic without having to start a conversation yourself.
And last, but most important, give it a chance. Whether attending a senior meal site or a church service for the first time, most groups have established social relationships built over time. And although they are open to new friendships, don’t expect them to welcome you like the prodigal son. Give yourself time to establish your own relationships. My rule of thumb is to try it at least six times before you decide it doesn’t work for you.
Life has much to offer at every stage of our lives. But you need to keep your eyes open and your antennas up to find new opportunities. Get out, engage in conversations, and make new friendships. And then, because you have emotional connections with others, when the grandkids have moved away and you are alone at home, you won’t be lonely.
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Brain Tease: There are many types of brain challenges: mystery puzzles, decipher codes, Rebus puzzles, sequence puzzles, deduction puzzles, and the most common, riddles that ask you to question your hidden assumptions.
So, this week is riddle time, with four to test your ability to think outside the box. And for the last one, you may have to think outside the room!
1. What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
2. Ask this question all day long, but always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers will be correct. What is the question?
3. What loses its head in the morning but gets it back at night?
4. What is the longest word in the dictionary?
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The singer who recorded “The Twist,” which reached no. 1 in both 1960 and 1962, was Chubby Checker. I received correct answers from Rhonda Spies, Doug Nelson, Bruce Johnson, Donna Mollet, Mike McFarlane, Judy Kiser, Rhonda Spies, Marny Weting, Eva Summers, Julie Hoffman, Tina Castanares, Pat Evenson-Brady, Becky Podvent, Lana Tepfer, Katherine Smith, Patricia Haupt, Rebecca Abrams, and Shelley Hinatsu, who remembers Chubby Checker performing at the Shamrock in The Dalles and is this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket.
And last week, because I drank too much of my Vitameatavegamin health tonic, I missed Rhonda Spies, Stephen Woolpert, and Tina Castanares, who grew up next to Desilu Studios in Hollywood. And the week before, I missed Nancy Higgins.
Chubby Checker was an icon of ‘60s popular music, but during the ‘70s (I have to remind myself that was half a century ago!), this woman became the Queen of Disco with such hits as her 1975 breakthrough “Love to Love You Baby.”
For this week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of this singer who brought disco music into the mainstream? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-980-4645, or send it with the extended club version of “Love to Love You Baby,” which ran nearly 17 minutes.
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Well, it’s been another week, looking for the corner pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Until we meet again, if you want to exercise your brain, you don’t need to learn a new language. Just buy a new car!
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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
— Steven Wright
Answers:
1. A teapot.
2. What time is it?
3. A pillow.
4. Smiles, because there is a “mile” between each “s”.
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